insane †

my eyes haven’t stopped burning, silly you thought i was crying, my eyes may as well start shooting out fire because i haven’t slept in fucking months, my body is fucking shacking in pain craving your name, my throat used to burn from how much alcohol i used to swallow now i swallow it like it’s water. i still have frost bite on my hand from all my late night walks when all i could do is blast my music and freeze but the thought of you was more powerful than the wind accompanied by that minus 5 degree weather. i don’t remember the last time i haven’t woken up dizzy bashing my head across the wall hoping that would get you out of my fucking mind. holy fuck all these days i have to slur out ‘i'm okay’ to every fucking idiot who believes me. for the first month i guess people were there for me but as time went on i lost them all because no one fucking understands what i fucking go through and jesus fuck i don’t wish this on anyone.